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Humor Thread: please join in, I'm tired of crying :(

Turd Ferguson

Hanging out in the punch bowl
5 Year Member


Red Shirt
2 Year Member
A guy goes to see a doctor, and the doctor says "I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this but you got cancer head to toe, only have one week to live".

The man says "a week well that's not enough time! Doc you gotta do something. I need more than a week."

And the doc thinks, he sits down, he says "I'll tell you what to do, you go find yourself a barrel racer girl, with two little dogs, and you marry her." And the man says "That's gonna make me live longer?"

And the doc says "No, but it'll make that week feel like a ******* eternity."

(heard this on Yellowstone and looked it up -- editorial comment dated a former barrel racer in college.. both fun and eternity at the same time ;) )


Be Yourself - Everyone Else Is Already Taken
5 Year Member
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
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