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Former Coach Zach Smith

Mack The Shark

Elite Poster
5 Year Member
I agree, but that cuts both ways: What is wrong with her that she has been with this guy for this long? Unhealthy people tend to attract and be attractive to other unhealthy people. He's very clearly got issues, but how many healthy, well-adjusted people have you met who 1) is married to a guy like him, 2) has a mother who says that she's unstable and exaggerating? Maybe her mom is loaded with issues, too, but then that means that the daughter somehow grew up healthy, even with a dysfunctional mother, then--despite growing up to be healthy--she marries into and stays in a dysfunctional marriage. It's possible but not common or likely.
I doubt Courtney is model for mental health, but Zach showing up at this children's school and making a scene is 100% about him. He didn't put an ounce of thought into how his behavior impacted his children. He's a classic narcissist.
 

Hville

Junior Varsity
2 Year Member
Has Zach Smith done anything whatsoever that leads you to believe he's a stable guy?
Here it goes again with you. Always misrepresenting what I'm saying because you are butt hurt about it. I'll say this one time and then put you back on my ignore list. I did NOT say anything about his stability. I simply questioned why a poster would make up some type of "functioning alcoholic diagnosis" regarding the guy with ZERO proof. What's next? Calling him a child abuser? A drug smuggler? A thief? Why make up things under the disguise of "just throwing out a possibility".
 

Mack The Shark

Elite Poster
5 Year Member
Here it goes again with you. Always misrepresenting what I'm saying because you are butt hurt about it. I'll say this one time and then put you back on my ignore list. I did NOT say anything about his stability. I simply questioned why a poster would make up some type of "functioning alcoholic diagnosis" regarding the guy with ZERO proof. What's next? Calling him a child abuser? A drug smuggler? A thief? Why make up things under the disguise of "just throwing out a possibility".
Listen, man, I have no idea why me simply asking you a question has you so triggered, but it's clear you have a problem with me. If you are incapable of having a civil discussion with me then feel free to ignore me. Nothing in my post was intended to be confrontational so if you're reading it in such a way, that's a you problem.

I asked because every single piece of publicly available information lends itself toward the notion that Zach Smith has serious behavioral issues. Some of which are common with people who have a chemical dependency problem. Courtney could be action packed with issues, but it doesn't excuse Zach's behavior at all.
 

berryhusker

Travel Squad
10 Year Member
I agree, but that cuts both ways: What is wrong with her that she has been with this guy for this long? Unhealthy people tend to attract and be attractive to other unhealthy people. He's very clearly got issues, but how many healthy, well-adjusted people have you met who 1) is married to a guy like him, 2) has a mother who says that she's unstable and exaggerating? Maybe her mom is loaded with issues, too, but then that means that the daughter somehow grew up healthy, even with a dysfunctional mother, then--despite growing up to be healthy--she marries into and stays in a dysfunctional marriage. It's possible but not common or likely.
I agree with you that there is probably enough dysfunction between them both. However, I had to highlight this question as in my career as a therapist it comes up often.

Do you know much about the cycle of abuse, or research in this area? Have you ever sat down with the victim of domestic violence and had an intimate conversation with them about their decision making? My point is, the dynamic of relational violence is much more complicated and intense than "what's wrong with her for staying?". You have to take into account the victim's circumstances. Does she have any resources if she leaves? Does she have support? What could she potentially lose? Especially considering a partner who is pretty high in society. Will her leaving jeopardize contact with her children? How would a judge take that into consideration when determining custody? Is she instilled with fear for her life if she leaves? What exact threats has he made? It goes on and on. It's always easier to judge than understand. That's all I'm saying. No problem with your post at all. I'm a therapist with a master's and PhD in psychology but am the first to admit I'm not an expert in this area. I just wanted to use this as a platform to share what I know from education and experience to be helpful and possibly provoke thought by other readers.
 
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Hville

Junior Varsity
2 Year Member
I worry for the kids that they both seem to be narcissists.
This is the key as BOTH seem to be the problem. Seems we have posters who automatically want to blame Zack Smith for everything because he was a coach for Urban Meyer at both Florida and Ohio State. Her allegations which had been investigated many times by police and found to be only allegations seem to be good enough evidence for those posters. Not really sure how they can be that upset with a guy that tried to see his daughter at school after their mother denied him his normal visitation right the night before. Evidently that's what functioning alcoholics do.
 

Huskerthom

All Legend
5 Year Member
This is the key as BOTH seem to be the problem. Seems we have posters who automatically want to blame Zack Smith for everything because he was a coach for Urban Meyer at both Florida and Ohio State. Her allegations which had been investigated many times by police and found to be only allegations seem to be good enough evidence for those posters. Not really sure how they can be that upset with a guy that tried to see his daughter at school after their mother denied him his normal visitation right the night before. Evidently that's what functioning alcoholics do.
Since it seems to be my post that triggered you. Let me explain why I said what I did.

1. If what she says is even close to true. He had problems with abuse while at FL and again at tOSU.
2. I remember the twitter wars he used to have with fans from other teams including ours. These always occured relatively late at night and seemed to be the rantings of a crazy person or a drunk.
3. by all available reports during the day he was quite normal and not prone to violence. from the available reports he did all of his alleged abuse at night.
4. One of the key signs of a functional alcoholic is that they act completely different when they drink then they do sober. Therefore those around the situation and not living in the house would see a normal "good guy". Because they are not around when he starts to drink.
5. I never said he WAS a functioning alcoholic. I said that if he were an abuser. A functioning alcoholic would explain why those around him other than his wife would think everything was OK while the abuse was occurring.

As for @Middle-aged_Ball_Coach
question of
What is wrong with her that she has been with this guy for this long?
this is normal behavior for abused women. The abuser makes them feel isolated and that "non one else will love you." they also hear. "I am so sorry it will not happen again." Abuse is a cross between brainwashing and stockholm syndrome. they start to see the abuse as love. Many women unfortunately do not make it out before they are dead.
Aside from this danger, there are many reasons why people stay in abusive relationships. Here are just a few of the common ones:

  • Fear: A person may be afraid of what will happen if they decide to leave the relationship.
  • Believing Abuse is Normal: A person may not know what a healthy relationship looks like, perhaps from growing up in an environment where abuse was common, and they may not recognize that their relationship is unhealthy.
  • Fear of Being Outed: If someone is in an LGBTQ relationship and has not yet come out to everyone, their partner may threaten to reveal this secret.
  • Embarrassment or Shame: It’s often difficult for someone to admit that they’ve been abused. They may feel they’ve done something wrong by becoming involved with an abusive partner. They may also worry that their friends and family will judge them.
  • Low Self-Esteem: When an abusive partner constantly puts someone down and blames them for the abuse, it can be easy for the victim to believe those statements and think that the abuse is their fault.
  • Love: So often, the victim feels love for their abusive partner. They may have children with them and want to maintain their family. Abusive people can often be charming, especially at the beginning of a relationship, and the victim may hope that their partner will go back to being that person. They may only want the violence to stop, not for the relationship to end entirely.
  • Cultural/Religious Reasons: Traditional gender roles supported by someone’s culture or religion may influence them to stay rather than end the relationship for fear of bringing shame upon their family.
  • Language Barriers/Immigration Status: If a person is undocumented, they may fear that reporting the abuse will affect their immigration status. Also, if their first language isn’t English, it can be difficult to express the depth of their situation to others.
  • Lack of Money/Resources: Financial abuse is common, and a victim may be financially dependent on their abusive partner. Without money, access to resources or even a place to go, it can seem impossible for them to leave the relationship. This feeling of helplessness can be especially strong if the person lives with their abusive partner.
  • Disability: When someone is physically dependent on their abusive partner, they can feel that their well-being is connected to the relationship. This dependency could heavily influence their decision to stay in an abusive relationship
 
I agree with you that there is probably enough dysfunction between them both. However, I had to highlight this question as in my career as a therapist it comes up often.

Do you know much about the cycle of abuse, or research in this area? Have you ever sat down with the victim of domestic violence and had an intimate conversation with them about their decision making? My point is, the dynamic of relational violence is much more complicated and intense than "what's wrong with her for staying?". You have to take into account the victim's circumstances. Does she have any resources if she leaves? Does she have support? What could she potentially lose? Especially considering a partner who is pretty high in society. Will her leaving jeopardize contact with her children? How would a judge take that into consideration when determining custody? Is she instilled with fear for her life if she leaves? What exact threats has he made? It goes on and on. It's always easier to judge than understand. That's all I'm saying. No problem with your post at all. I'm a therapist with a master's and PhD in psychology but am the first to admit I'm not an expert in this area. I just wanted to use this as a platform to share what I know from education and experience to be helpful and possibly provoke thought by other readers.
Do you assume a lot about a person's background based on an online post on a football discussion board? Do you assume that you know more than others when asking in the guise of an open-ended question? Do you feel like your credentials give more weight to your assumptions?

Read the whole context of what I wrote because I stand by it. I've spent most of my adult life working with damaged, abused kids. You're quoting talking points from a college seminar.

Edit: Re-reading this, I'm coming across as more upset than I actually am, fwiw. I'm exhausted from conversations that involve flashing credentials to give weight to what is an opinion. I see what looks like both parents ignoring their kids' best interests.
 
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this is normal behavior for abused women. The abuser makes them feel isolated and that "non one else will love you." they also hear. "I am so sorry it will not happen again." Abuse is a cross between brainwashing and stockholm syndrome. they start to see the abuse as love. Many women unfortunately do not make it out before they are dead.
:Thumbsdown2:

Folks, I'm NOT saying she wasn't abused. I don't know, but neither do you. I'm very aware of the signs and reactions of an abused spouse. I'm more concerned about their kids, and based on the reactions of those around her, I think that she's likely to make things worse.
 

Hville

Junior Varsity
2 Year Member
:Thumbsdown2:

Folks, I'm NOT saying she wasn't abused. I don't know, but neither do you. I'm very aware of the signs and reactions of an abused spouse. I'm more concerned about their kids, and based on the reactions of those around her, I think that she's likely to make things worse.
Here is the problem middle age........I realize you aren't saying she wasn't abused. The problem I'm having with their constant rants on this subject is they are inferring she WAS. They are diagnosing his abuse in spite of no facts showing abuse. Only a bunch of questionable news reports that also have no proof of their abuse statements. This is all in spite of the police being called a dozen times and finding nothing after investigating. Even her closest friends and family can not corroborate her statements and have gone on record as saying she exaggerates and embellishes everything she says. In short the lady is psycho, but certain posters dismiss all the facts and instead create their own diagnosis based on late night tweets by our drunk fan base. If people would stick with the facts in these situations instead of calling him a drunk because he got in a twitter war with our 3 time dui coach maybe some perspective over our hypocrisy would surface.
 

Huskerthom

All Legend
5 Year Member
Here is the problem middle age........I realize you aren't saying she wasn't abused. The problem I'm having with their constant rants on this subject is they are inferring she WAS. They are diagnosing his abuse in spite of no facts showing abuse. Only a bunch of questionable news reports that also have no proof of their abuse statements. This is all in spite of the police being called a dozen times and finding nothing after investigating. Even her closest friends and family can not corroborate her statements and have gone on record as saying she exaggerates and embellishes everything she says. In short the lady is psycho, but certain posters dismiss all the facts and instead create their own diagnosis based on late night tweets by our drunk fan base. If people would stick with the facts in these situations instead of calling him a drunk because he got in a twitter war with our 3 time dui coach maybe some perspective over our hypocrisy would surface.
She released pictures of herself that she sent to Urbs wife. Do you think she hit herself? That was what got him fired.
 

Mack The Shark

Elite Poster
5 Year Member
She released pictures of herself that she sent to Urbs wife. Do you think she hit herself? That was what got him fired.
Add to that the info about him showing up to work smelling like alcohol, Urbz having to talk to him about his substance abuse issue, the intervention team of Urbz people to keep Courtney Smith from following through on the first report of DV. That all gets overlooked.
 
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Huskerthom

All Legend
5 Year Member
Add to that the info about him showing up to work smelling like alcohol, Urbz having to talk to him about his substance abuse issue, the intervention team of Urbz people to keep Courtney Smith from following through on the first report of DV. That all gets overlooked.
Yeah because there is "no proof"
 

Mack The Shark

Elite Poster
5 Year Member
:Thumbsdown2:

Folks, I'm NOT saying she wasn't abused. I don't know, but neither do you. I'm very aware of the signs and reactions of an abused spouse. I'm more concerned about their kids, and based on the reactions of those around her, I think that she's likely to make things worse.
You could very well be right. We don't know why she violated the visitation agreement. It may have been punitive on her part or it may have been a protective measure. Both parties need to handle this in the courts and not in the public arena.
 
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