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Cartoons & Funnies Again!!!

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Dear Abby,
My husband has a long record of money problems. He runs up huge credit-card bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them off, he shouts at me, saying I am stealing his money. He says pay the minimum and let our kids worry about the rest, but already we can hardly keep up with the interest. Also he has been so arrogant and abusive toward our neighbors that most of them no longer speak to us. The few that do are an odd bunch, to whom he has been giving a lot of expensive gifts, running up our bills even more. Also, he has gotten religious. One week he hangs out with Catholics and the next with people who say the Pope is the Anti-Christ, and the next he's with Muslims.. Finally, the last straw. He's demanding that before anyone can be in the same room with him, they must sign a loyalty oath. It's just so horribly creepy! Can you help?
Signed, Lost



Dear Lost,


Suck it up and stop whining, Michelle. You're getting to live in the White House for free, travel the world, and have others pay for everything for you. You can divorce the jerk any time you want. The rest of us are stuck with the idiot for 4 more years.

Signed, Abby



 
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An old lady in a nursing home walks over to a group of old men and holds up her hand, fist closed. "If any of you gents can guess what's in my hand, you can cuddle with me in my bed tonight".
An addled old guy asks "Is it an elephant?".
The old lady answers "Close enough".
 



An old man is dying in his hospital bed. His wife is there, and he wants to confess his feelings of guilt. He tells her "I had sex with your sister Rosa".
She says "I know".
"And I also had sex with your cousin Esther".
She says "I know".
"And just last month, I had sex with your other sister, Emily".
She says "I know, I know. Just relax, sweetheart, and let the poison work".
 


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