Brenda Tracy

[Deleted member 5200]

I can't believe this hasn't been moved to Hot Topics.

 

[Big Red Shrine]

This is truly unbelievable. A thread about a woman trying to bring about positive change and we get eyerolls for mentioning UNL had to pay settlements to assaulted women, are told that LP was goaded into it, and forgetting that our coaches partially blamed LPs actions on the pressure from his NCAA investigations at the time.

It seems Tracey’s message is still falling on some deaf ears. Too bad.

 

[solesrfr]

This is truly unbelievable. A thread about a woman trying to bring about positive change and we get eyerolls for mentioning UNL had to pay settlements to assaulted women, are told that LP was goaded into it, and forgetting that our coaches partially blamed LPs actions on the pressure from his NCAA investigations at the time.

It seems Tracey’s message is still falling on some deaf ears. Too bad.

You forgot UM, ZS, and OSU.


C

 

[Show Me State Red]

This is truly unbelievable. A thread about a woman trying to bring about positive change and we get eyerolls for mentioning UNL had to pay settlements to assaulted women, are told that LP was goaded into it, and forgetting that our coaches partially blamed LPs actions on the pressure from his NCAA investigations at the time.

It seems Tracey’s message is still falling on some deaf ears. Too bad.

No, Ms Tracey is sharing a story with the weight of law that has not been validated by a court of law. The same may be said about ZS ex-wife. LP’s story had the weight of law because he was convicted by a court of law with a MISDEMEANOR.

The three incidents are as different as apples, peacocks and fudge no matter what year they happened.

 

[Elwood von Kiowa]

To get back to the OP... I listened to the first half of the podcast (haven't had an hour block to hear the whole thing). Brenda's message is critical for us to hear, and her pledge movement is much needed. One of the topics she discusses is that we as MEN need to step up and take responsibility to change the culture. For example, how many MEN knew about H Weinstein's proclivities, but said nothing to correct, oppose, or report him?

If MEN had stepped up and taken responsibility for establishing a culture of respect, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

 

[George A. Husker]

I don’t think you are up on the facts regarding any of these coaches.

I'll gladly match my "up on the facts" against yours any time you want. Thanks.

 

[George A. Husker]

I am not trying to compare the two incidences as they are totally different - should have been addressed and handled differently and I suspect all of the parties involved would have done things differently if they could go back and do so.

I do think we'd agree how both events 20+ years ago were handled would never fly in today's environment ... and rightfully so.

I really do not think this is a question of who was more right or more wrong. If you were to look at this from an outsider's perspective most would argue that both were handled wrong. I am not trying to support MR and what he did or didn't do but we are sitting here almost 20 years after the incident and trying to judge right and wrong ... and we're burning MR in effigy while defending TO. Its an inconsistent discussion.

Ironic.. TO was burned in effigy nationally. Again and again and again. 20+ years later he continues to be questioned and ridiculed for his decision. You compare TO's response to the LP situation. Look at things from that prism for a second. Again, TO was hammered. What response did Mike Riley get, other than polite golf clapping?

 

[George A. Husker]

What do you think would happen today if a coach knew his player was violent, told him to stay away from a girl and the player subsequently broke into her apartment and dragged her down the stairs. Answer honestly, if you can, what YOU would say if that happened at....say...USC.

Answer honestly, if you can... TO was supposed to somehow know that LP would become physical with his girlfriend?

By the way, LP didn't break into Kate McEwen's apartment. He climbed a trellis to the balcony of Scott Frost's apartment, and pounded on the door. Wrong apartment, and no forced entry. Close though. I'm sure Big Red Shrine can set you straight.

 

[bilsker]

Answer honestly, if you can... TO was supposed to somehow know that LP would become physical with his girlfriend?

By the way, LP didn't break into Kate McEwen's apartment. He climbed a trellis to the balcony of Scott Frost'a apartment, and pounded on the door. Wrong apartment, and no forced entry. Close though. I'm sure Big Red Shrine can set you straight.

Wow.

First of all...obviously one doesnt jave yo know what will happen. But knowing that someone is violent (LP was known to be) and was involved in a relationship that was known to have been borderline violent...once AGAIN...given today climate...no chance he survives.

My mistake on whose apartment it was but if you believe that wasnt a break in you need your head examined.

 

[Big Red Shrine]

No, Ms Tracey is sharing a story with the weight of law that has not been validated by a court of law. The same may be said about ZS ex-wife. LP’s story had the weight of law because he was convicted by a court of law with a MISDEMEANOR.

The three incidents are as different as apples, peacocks and fudge no matter what year they happened.

You’re resting on LP having a misdemeanor? Ok

I'll gladly match my "up on the facts" against yours any time you want. Thanks.

OK. Christian peter. The school paid. Now you go.

 

[Redfish]

If my defense of the legal system wasn’t a clue, I am an attorney who has practiced criminal defense and domestic relations law for over 20 years. Everyone here wants to be black and white, but that frankly, is not the real world. It is much more complicated than that, which is why I have such an issue with red lines and rushes to judgment. I will also tell you that I was raised and lived old school. I have never and will never hit a woman, not even in self defense. And let me tell you, I don’t care how justified it can be, you hit your wife, guess who goes to jail? One of my major weaknesses in my practice is falling for victims of domestic abuse. I have lost more money over the years than I can imagine because I have a particular distaste for abusers and tend to melt when these women tell me their story and ask for help. They are usuallly in a situation where they have little or no money and are trying to survive. Thus, I end up working for free.

Having said that, false accusation happen and much more often than many people realize. When it does, it is devastating. I love women and tend to put them on a pedestal, but they can be just as mean, manipulative, and dishonest as men. In particular, I am no longer even phased by the lengths that some women can go in making false accusations in order to get the upper hand in child custody cases.

In domestic assault cases, I tend to like to figure out the pattern over time, rather than judge a one time incident. The vast majority of domestic assault cases that I have defended come at the time of a seriously failing relationship. It is a time of great stress and people lose their filters. What I see happen is that buttons start getting pushed and a man gets to his breaking point and hits his wife. Momma calls the cops, dad goes to jail, they get divorced and there’s not an ongoing problem. It was the relationship, not necessarily the normal character of the man that causes the problem. Should he have walked away? Yep, but some times people in that situation screw up. It is also much easier for her to call law enforcement and go through with a prosecution because she hasn’t actually been a victim of ongoing, deeply entrenched systematic control, which is my definition of real domestic abuse.

Dang, just looked at the clock. I hope my statements are not misconstrued, it’s just that these situations are not always as good vs evil as people think they are.

It happened to me, with a now ex-wife, accused of things which NEVER happened, I had to talk to police and the whole thing. Luckily we were going through marriage counseling at the time and the counselor at the time knew me pretty well by that time. So with an extensive interview the accusations were debunked and I was able to move forward. Oddly enough we actually stayed married for another 9 years, but ultimately the damage had been done. Sorry to air dirty laundry, but I do understand the other side. And because it "happens less" makes it ok to the greater good of catching the "bad guy" more often, I say BS!

 

[Red Reign]

Locked