I want chaos. I want to burn everything down. I want wailing and gnashing of teeth for as far as the eye can see. I want Urban Meyer to complain about missing a PAT in a 55-0 route of Michigan, and then get steamrolled by Northwestern in the B1G Championship. I want West Virginia to beat Oklahoma, then see Oklahoma beat them in the Big 12 Championship. I want Washington State to win out, and I want Mike Leach to take his pirate sword to every interview until 2019 so that he can literally swing his sword and smack stuff every time someone asks a stupid question. I want a scandal in the SEC where a big conspiracy is uncovered showing that Alabama boosters have been paying Auburn's recruiting staff to sign mediocre talent for years, and Auburn retaliates by releasing video footage of an Auburn alum dressed as an Alabama alum throwing money at a long-snapper that nobody ever heard of before, but both teams were recruiting. I want video footage of Tom Herman pole dancing with Zach Smith at a strip club while the working ladies look on with concern. I want Nick Saban to go coach some NFL team. I want whoever wrote "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" to sue PJ Fleck for copyright infringement. I want the CFP committee to drop the charade and just go with their hearts and pick Alabama, Georgia, LSU, and Kentucky for the playoffs. I also want mobs with pitchforks and torches chasing the CFP committee into their NCAA-provided panic room.
That's all I ask.