I need good clean

[Husker Poyer]

My penis is so big 7-11 is changing their sizes to small, medium, large, and my penis!

[hskrdavey]

I was about an hour to the West of Austin and got pulled over. The cop said "I clocked you doing 72". I said.."What's the big deal?...the sign back there said 71!" The cop said..."That's the HIGHWAY SIGN SIR...the speed limit is 60". I then said..."Wow...thank goodness I didn't run into you on "290" !

[Husker in Spokane]

Do you know the difference between broccoli and boogers?

Kids don't like broccoli.

I always heard it as lutefisk and snot! Kids won't lutefisk!

[kpaso]

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

NoIdear

[kpaso]

What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs?

StillNoIdear

[Warhorse]

What don't you call a dog that is missing one eye and a leg and had one ear and its tail bitten off? Lucky

[Red Dead Redemption]

Did anyone out there lose a large roll of $20 dollar bills wrapped with a rubberband?

I have good news for you -- we found your rubberband.

[Pops]

all good
poyer vs Alcohol

[Red Dead Redemption]

"I'd like to start with a warm greeting for everyone."

"On the count of three, I'd like everyone to quickly turn around at the same time and shake hands with the person currently behind them."

"Ready? 1 - 2 -3! Everybody turn around!"

(everyone turns around, but then realize that the person behind them has turned around also -- so nobody shakes hands! Har! Har! Hardy-har-har!)

[HuskerFanz]

Did you hear about the two guys that walked into a bar?

It's really kind of stupid... After the first one hit it, you would think the second one would have seen it!

[Red_in_Blue_Land]

all good
poyer vs Alcohol

“Law of Drunkenness”
You can’t fall off the floor, but you can hold on to the grass and try not to fall of the edge of the world.

[Red_in_Blue_Land]

http://www.sugardoodle.net/Jokes/Exp...Behavior.shtml

[Skunkman1]

Two muffins are being put in an oven, after awhile one muffin looks at the other and says "Wow! It sure is getting hot in here!" The Other muffin says back, "Holy Crap! A talking Muffin!"

[Nebraska1]

Psychiatry joke:

Neurotics build castles in the sky
Psychotics live in them
Psychiatrists collect the rent.

[Red Dead Redemption]

Psychiatry joke:

Neurotics build castles in the sky
Psychotics live in them
Psychiatrists collect the rent.

and my mother cleans them...

(+1 to Rita)