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Thread: A Few of the Joys of Home Ownership

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  1. #1
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    A Few of the Joys of Home Ownership

    http://articles.philly.com/2012-04-2...lapse-disorder

    Haven't had bees, but battled plenty of wasps nesting under the back deck.

    Did have a raccoon give birth to a litter in the window well the deck was built over. We had one ogf those fiberglass covers that didn't get re-fastened down to the well frame, so mama would just lift up the cover and go down the window well ladder. When she went to get the pups out, she managed to take the screen out of the window frame to get 'em up and out...

  2. #2
    Oh my!
    Red_in_Blue_Land's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by COsker View Post
    http://articles.philly.com/2012-04-2...lapse-disorder

    Haven't had bees, but battled plenty of wasps nesting under the back deck.

    Did have a raccoon give birth to a litter in the window well the deck was built over. We had one ogf those fiberglass covers that didn't get re-fastened down to the well frame, so mama would just lift up the cover and go down the window well ladder. When she went to get the pups out, she managed to take the screen out of the window frame to get 'em up and out...
    I got a skunk under my house in my crawl space one Friday afternoon about 9 years ago, when I came home from work and the whole house smelled like skunk, I was just irate. I figured out where he was getting under the house, it was a hole that he dug through the side of one of my crawlspace vents covers. I took my wife, not married at the time, out for dinner and stopped at the local hardware store afterwards and bought a live trap to catch the little stinker.

    When we got back it was dark, house still smelled like skunk, so I got a flashlight and went out to his little hole to set the trap to catch him. As I was setting the trap, when I was almost done I heard a little grunt and right next to me in the hole was this skunk with his head sticking out of the hole. I jumped up from the trap, tripped over it and lost my balance, running behind my junipers and boxwoods trying to gain my balance and then tripped over the down pipe, ripping it from the eavetrough. That last trip sent me straight into the garage wall losing my balance an fell over. There I was sitting on my sidewalk beside my garage dazed from deceleration sickness with the garage wall and I look up and here comes the harbringer of all evil right where I ran with his tail in the air prancing like a victorious sprinter taking a victory lap.

    Needless to say he probably thought I was the most uncoordinated thing he had ever seen, he walked out on the edge of my landscaping looking at the funny blob falling all over himself. Next to where I was still trying to find my senses was an plastic tarp that I use to cover my firewood in the winter to keep it dry. I grabbed that thing and threw it over the little black and white rat, he sprayed that thing and probably sprayed and sprayed and sprayed underneath that thing. I wrapped him up in it and tossed it in the back of my truck with a couple of concrete blocks on the wrapped end so he couldn't get out. I drove him to a park about 3 miles away on the other side of the lake, hauled him out into the middle of the park and pulled on one end of the tarp to let him out. Needless to say he didn't want anything to do with me and scampered off, I drug the tarp to the nearest trash can and left it there, hopped into my truck and drove home.

    The house smell was better when I got home and was almost completely gone by morning, I got spray fall-out on me and my coat so I had to hang my coat in the garage for a few days and take a long shower. I got most of it off, it wasn't bad and someone got a free stinky tarp out of the deal.
    "The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities." Ayn Rand

    "Hillary has been cheated on more than a blind woman playing Scrabble. With gypsies." Dennis Miller

  3. #3
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    Husker Mort's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Red_in_Blue_Land View Post
    I got a skunk under my house in my crawl space one Friday afternoon about 9 years ago, when I came home from work and the whole house smelled like skunk, I was just irate. I figured out where he was getting under the house, it was a hole that he dug through the side of one of my crawlspace vents covers. I took my wife, not married at the time, out for dinner and stopped at the local hardware store afterwards and bought a live trap to catch the little stinker.

    When we got back it was dark, house still smelled like skunk, so I got a flashlight and went out to his little hole to set the trap to catch him. As I was setting the trap, when I was almost done I heard a little grunt and right next to me in the hole was this skunk with his head sticking out of the hole. I jumped up from the trap, tripped over it and lost my balance, running behind my junipers and boxwoods trying to gain my balance and then tripped over the down pipe, ripping it from the eavetrough. That last trip sent me straight into the garage wall losing my balance an fell over. There I was sitting on my sidewalk beside my garage dazed from deceleration sickness with the garage wall and I look up and here comes the harbringer of all evil right where I ran with his tail in the air prancing like a victorious sprinter taking a victory lap.

    Needless to say he probably thought I was the most uncoordinated thing he had ever seen, he walked out on the edge of my landscaping looking at the funny blob falling all over himself. Next to where I was still trying to find my senses was an plastic tarp that I use to cover my firewood in the winter to keep it dry. I grabbed that thing and threw it over the little black and white rat, he sprayed that thing and probably sprayed and sprayed and sprayed underneath that thing. I wrapped him up in it and tossed it in the back of my truck with a couple of concrete blocks on the wrapped end so he couldn't get out. I drove him to a park about 3 miles away on the other side of the lake, hauled him out into the middle of the park and pulled on one end of the tarp to let him out. Needless to say he didn't want anything to do with me and scampered off, I drug the tarp to the nearest trash can and left it there, hopped into my truck and drove home.

    The house smell was better when I got home and was almost completely gone by morning, I got spray fall-out on me and my coat so I had to hang my coat in the garage for a few days and take a long shower. I got most of it off, it wasn't bad and someone got a free stinky tarp out of the deal.
    Not THAT is a good story.
    “If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.” Marcus Aurelius

  4. #4
    ^ I've read that 4 times and it's literally gotten funnier each time.

  5. #5
    Oh my!
    Red_in_Blue_Land's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wonder Monds Fan View Post
    ^ I've read that 4 times and it's literally gotten funnier each time.
    Rght after that incident I went out and bought and installed brand new vent covers on all of my vents that little creeps like that guy can't dig into.
    "The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities." Ayn Rand

    "Hillary has been cheated on more than a blind woman playing Scrabble. With gypsies." Dennis Miller




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