Now that all the Associated Press, American Football Coaches Association, Football Writers Association of America, The Sporting News and Walter Camp Foundation have announced their 2012 All American college football teams, it's time for Husker Dan to unveil his All American team.
But unlike those teams that are based on a player's talent and success on the football field, Husker Dan's team is made up of players who have really oddball names.
You know what I'm talking about. (Husker fans lived with Ndamukong Suh for four years.) The names on my list are those that cause play-by-play announcers to seek early retirement. They are a sportscaster's worst nightmare. Wait, I take that back. Actually, their worst nightmare would be if all these players were on the same team playing another team that had equally unusual names.
Husker Dan's staff, all of whom are underpaid, overworked and over sixty, have assembled a list of the oddest names in the world of college football for 2012. It's hard to believe, but all these names are real and they played for real college football teams.
Drum roll, please. Here's Husker Dan's Oddball Name All American College Football Team of 2012.
DEFENSE • Star Lotulelei DT Utah • Owamagbe Odighizuwa DE UCLA
(The dude almost came to NU.) • Seali'i Epenesa NT, UCLA • Brandon Tuliaupupu DE, UCLA
(Did somebody say poo-poo?) • Bakevious Mingo DL LSU • Jadeveon Clowney DE So. Carolina • Beau Yap DE Hawaii (Are you kidding me?) • Bojay Filimoeatu LB Utah State (Is that pig Latin?) • Bacarri Rambo DB Georgia • Ifo Ekpre-Olomu CB Oregon • Supo Sanni FS Illinois
OFFENSE • Omoregie Uzzi OL Georgia Tech
(Can he make it through a metal detector?) • Oday Aboushi OL Virginia • Sean Hooey RT Cincinnati
(Are his family reunions called a Bunch of Hooey?) • Christine Michael RB Texas A&M (Christine?!!) • Philip Lutzenkirchen TE Auburn • Zane Fakes TE Ball State • Uzoma Nwachukwu WR Texas A&M • Munchie Legaux QB Cincinnati • BooBoo Gates AP Bowling Green • Harry Peoples WR University of Louisiana at Lafayette Ragin' Cajuns
("Munchie's back to pass, fakes to Fakes, gets a good block from BooBoo and tosses a screen to Nwachukwu who falls down due to the weight of all the letters on his jersey...") Sigh...